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Athens Sober on an IHOP Placemat

by Krystyne

Don't pour the syrup directly on your plate because then it runs all over the place and ruins the ambiance of your plate, the table, and my world.


Once upon a time there were two lesbians who were lost in a world of straight people. Everyone knew that they were gay because they were giants compared to everyone else.


Look into my blood shot eyes and try to see my soul, but be prepared for a reflection of yourself because I probably won't let you in.


If you pour enough sugar into a cup of coffee, you can get it to run over the edge and stain the placemat that you had it sitting on when you were trying to be polite and act like you had class.


There was a girl dancing on the stage one night at a club that I was in and I watched her all night until I realized that she was a guy.


There were two coffee addicts who tried to go one day without coffee and about 3 o'clock in the afternoon they passed out on the door step of a Kaffe Haus in Athens, GA and people just stepped over them and went about their business.


I once met a man who ate only carrots until one day he woke up and his skin was orange, so he dyed his hair green and changed his name to Karet.


I noticed a booger hanging from the nose of a friend of mine and instead of saying anything to them, I laughed and was glad that it wasn't me.


Wake me up periodically and tell me what time it is so I won't be late, but if I'm already late, don't bother and let me sleep till you remember I exist.


The cigarette in my hand doesn't smell as good as yours, can I have one of your delicious sticks of cancer?


Flowers and hearts describe your life, but spoons and dirty coffee cups tell stories about mine.


Breakfast with you has been enjoyable but I think I should mention that you have food stuck in your teeth and you need a piece of Big Red.


I want to melt into your world and join you in your mind because you seem to be interesting in your own special way; but maybe I'm biased because I find you ugly in some sort of weird attractive way.


A couple of booths away from the one I was sitting in, a girl flipped her hair and laughed at the pointless things that a guy was saying to her and I thought about how pointless her life must be and I felt bad for her, so I gave her a quarter and told her to call someone who cares.

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